We all get curious about things that are not our business.
Questions about semen and family biology are definitely within the realm of don’t ask but you can’t help it. You’re dying to know.
You’ve come to the right place. Before you consider sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong you did what every curious person should do… Google it!
Intended Parents all make individual choices on their surrogacy journey. Third Party Reproduction is full of options, variables, and possibilities. When the Intended Parents are both men, it’s usually safe to assume that they have used an Egg Donor to fulfill their family dreams, but a nosey onlooker can’t always tell whose sperm they used.
Deciding which Intended Parent will be genetically linked to their baby is rarely a simple decision. One Intended Parent may feel it’s important to raise a child they’re genetically linked to, and the other may be happy to know that his child is related to him or his partner. Both partners may feel strongly about having a child that carried their genes.
When it comes to fertility, nature frequently has a mind of its own (even in a clinical setting), and there are no guarantees that one or both Intended Fathers are fertile. It is possible that both Intended Fathers have low sperm motility or mobility. In this case, a sperm donor and an egg donor are needed.
When both Intended Fathers are fertile, they may choose to use sperm from one parent or both. They can decide for one of them to fertilize the eggs, or each father can fertilize half of the eggs. Some gay couple plan to have twins or multiples, using multiple embryos, fertilized by each parent.
So, let’s break it down. When pursuing parenthood through surrogacy, gay couples may:
- Choose to use sperm from both of them and have more than one child.
- Be limited by one parent’s infertility and use the other partner’s sperm.
- Use donor sperm.
- Not know which parent’s sperm was used because the sperm was mixed or they used multiple embryos and not all of them implanted successfully.
Hopefully, your curiosity has been satisfied enough that you won’t destroy your relationships or bother strangers with your inappropriate questions.