10 Things a Surrogate Should Decide Before Choosing Intended Parents Every surrogacy journey is different. It will be important that you choose Intended Parents that have the same values as you do, and also that they meet a number of qualifications. Knowing what you want from your surrogacy journey will ensure a rewarding experience. Prior to meeting Intended Parents and considering being their Gestational Carrier, you should have at least considered the following things:
What kind of people would you like to be a Surrogate Mother for?
- Do you want to help a single Intended Parent?
- Would you prefer to be a Surrogate for a couple?
- Do you want to be a Surrogate for Intended Parents with HIV?
- Are you hoping to help Intended Parents who have had a specific experience?
Are you comfortable working with Intended Parents that do not speak the same language as you do?
Keep in mind that there are many tools that can be used to help you communicate with your Intended Parents and many of our Surrogate Mother’s have had rewarding and comfortable relationships with Intended Parents that did not fluently speak the same language as them. Choosing Intended Parents that do not speak the same language as you do can open up a world of possibilities for growth where you can earn more about another culture and even learn their language.
Are you prepared to carry a baby for International Intended Parents?
Some Surrogates prefer to work with Canadian Intended Parents or Intended Parents from the United States. Many of our Intended Parents are International. We can work with you to suit your preferences.
How much contact would you like with your Intended Parents?
Gestational Surrogates and Intended Parents get to choose how much contact they would like throughout their journey together. You may want to email updates as necessary, have scheduled monthly Skype visits, or text on a regular basis. You’re not limited in how much or how little contact you would like. Proud Fertility will work with you and your Intended Parents to help you establish a schedule for communication to suit everyone’s needs.
Would you be comfortable carrying twins, triplets, or more?
Deciding how you feel about being pregnant with twins for your Intended Parents leads into questions about multiple embryo transfers and selective reduction (when one or more fetuses is aborted to increase the viability of the remaining fetus).
How many embryos are you comfortable having transferred?
This is a question you may want to discuss with the fertility doctor during your initial physical screening. It can be a challenging decision. We generally suggest you only have one embryo transfered at a time for you safety but you fertility doctor is the expert here.
If you become pregnant with multiples, would you be willing to selectively reduce?
Singleton (one baby) pregnancies are more likely to result in a healthy live baby. If you were to become pregnant with more than one baby, would you be willing to have the least healthy fetus or fetuses aborted? This is an important question to ask yourself.
Would you be willing to terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons?
Sometimes there are health concerns for a fetus that result in a doctor recommending the pregnancy be terminated. Would you be willing to terminate a pregnancy if the fetus is shown to have a medical condition? With difficult decisions like this, it is key to be in agreement with your Intended Parents prior to entering into your surrogacy agreement.
Would you like to have your Intended Parents attend appointments with you?
It may be important to you that your Intended Parents attend your embryo transfer, doctor’s appointments, and ultrasounds, or you may prefer more privacy. Ideally, you and your Intended Parents have similar feelings about how involved they will be in your medical care.
Do you want your Intended Parents to attend the birth?
What do you envision for your surrogacy birth experience? Would you be comfortable or uncomfortable if the Intended Parents attended the birth? Some Surrogates feel that it is very important to them that the Intended Parents are in attendance, while others would like to give birth in a more private setting.
It is important to know what you would like to experience as a Gestational Surrogate. Everyone has different goals, preferences, and beliefs. You will have a more positive experience if you are clear about the above questions and carry a child for someone who has values that are closely aligned with your own.
Pride Surrogacy will be with you every step of the way to ensure you feel safe, informed and supported.
Want to learn more about starting your surrogacy journey with Proud Fertility? Connect with us today!