Let’s talk attachment to the surrobaby
The connection between a mother and child is an unbreakable bond. I have children of my own and I know how I felt when I gave birth to them and the joy they brought to my world. That instant love and connection are undeniable.
Don’t you get attached to the baby?
I remember people talking about me being a surrogate and their first question was always “don’t you get attached to the baby?” Before I even thought about being a surrogate, it was a question I had asked myself!
I like to think of myself as mentally stable and I know I did my research regarding this topic! I spoke to many other surrogate mothers, joined FB groups, ordered books online, etc just to make sure I was making a decision I could fully support from start to finish. And in the end, I still wanted to make sure I felt good about myself and confident in my choices. The “what if” thought always lingers in the back of your mind.
Pure joy and excitement
The first ultrasound gave me pure joy and excitement, surprisingly not for myself but for my Intended Parents. How amazing to feel so much happiness for selflessly doing something for another family.
Went through my days growing a pregnant belly which all seemed very natural to me. Giving my Intended Parents as much information as they needed to feel confident their son was in good hands. I did many “mental status” checks on myself …. yep, I’m still feeling positive about this journey, no motherly instincts towards the baby, no stress in preparing for the baby to come and baby names were not my concern so overall it was a lot easier than expected!
Fast-forward to my delivery day
Delivery day was here, I was still nervous about my feelings towards the baby after delivery! (I told you that feeling doesn’t go away.) Once the baby boy was born and I got to hold him and see his face, I was overcome with pure relief! This sweet and innocent boy was finally here and he didn’t look like me or my kids or my family! He wasn’t my son but I felt like he was more an extended part of my family. I still felt a special place in my heart for him but I am not his mother, and I was perfectly ok with that!
The gift of surrogacy
I was discharged from the hospital the next day and was satisfied in my ability to leave the baby with his family, to be loved and well taken care of. I had accomplished what I set out to do, to give a gift to some very deserving Intended Parents. To this day I have not had any regrets or negative feelings about being a surrogate. Nor have I ever felt an attachment to the baby that was never mine to keep, my part of this journey was now over!