I’m a doula. That’s probably why I’m a good candidate for surrogacy. I love pregnancy, birth, babies, even the postpartum period. It’s so raw and beautiful. I also like to think I know a lot about those things, too. I have a handful of kids myself and have been helping other women give birth for more than ten years. I was curious about surrogacy at different points in my life. In my early 20s, I wanted to be a surrogate but I thought you had to be married. I have a close friend who asked me to carry for her when she became ready and I was willing. She hasn’t ever become ready though. In my late 20s, my partner was discouraging. He hated pregnancy. Something about linea nigra being creepy and that there would be other people’s baby inside of me. *eye roll* Then I met an infertile couple. I felt their story hard. The desperate feeling to have a child with the person you love. And that was it, I was ready. I connected with Proud Fertility, found an amazing couple to carry for and am in the early stages of the journey. (Does anyone else kind of puke in their mouth when they hear the word “journey” over and over? Just me?) The whole thing has been a whirlwind. Although I’ve had doula clients who were on a surrogacy journey and am well versed in most topics related to surrogacy, I still feel super lost. It’s like no matter how much information I gather I still need to confirm and reconfirm. So, here’s where it’s at. I’ve committed to being a surrogate for an adorable couple in Europe. We have tons in common and my oldest daughter read their profile and said: “Can’t you just give me to them? They look amazing! I want them to be my dads.” I’ve shared my plans only with my kids and my closest friends. I half don’t want to deal with people’s judgy opinions and half think it’ll be fun to let them wonder about my immaculate conception. It’s pretty common knowledge among my friends and family that I can no longer conceive. So far, I have undergone psychosocial screening, which was super fun. I have yet to meet someone who works in Mental Health that I dislike. I have had a ridiculous number of calls with the nurse from the IVF clinic. I’ve been to doctors, acupuncturists, and chiropractors. I started prenatal vitamins three days ago. Tomorrow I see my OBGYN to get a final OK from her and then I wait until my cycle starts to book a screening at the fertility clinic. I’m still waiting to receive the legal agreement so hopefully, that happens soon! Wish me luck! XO, Surrogate X
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