“Sometimes on the way to your dream, you get lost and find a better one.”
– Lisa Hammond
I set out on my surrogacy journey to build a family.
It’s funny how life doesn’t always go the way you expect, and the outcome that you have pictured in your mind is not always the outcome that is manifested. While I firmly believe that one can achieve and receive anything they focus on and work towards, the universe can interpret our desires in different ways.
At 25, my most burning desire was to become a parent. As a single Intended Father, surrogacy seemed to be my ideal option, and so my surrogacy journey began.
Along the way, I experienced failed embryo transfers, miscarriages, and stillbirth. The ache of these losses is with me today. I will never forget the ones I was not able to watch grow or stop wondering what could have been but I hope one day I will have a child to hold in my arms. To share the joys of life with and that my love will grow so big it will crowd out just a little bit of that pain.
It’s not a rare occurrence that others inquire about my parental status. As the Managing Director of Proud Fertility, I am asked to share my story frequently. How did I find myself pursuing a career as a surrogacy consultant? Have I had children through surrogacy? And inevitably, how am I qualified to help others fulfill their family dreams when I have yet to fulfill my own family dreams?
Throughout my years in surrogacy consulting, I have often felt pangs of doubt within myself. Am I qualified to help others through surrogacy? Why is it I can assist so many others in becoming parents but have been unable to become a parent myself? Where are my family dreams?
And then one day not too long ago I took pause.
I sat down and reflected on my surrogacy journey, not just the part of my journey where I pursued surrogacy as path to parenthood, but also the part of my journey that led me to my career and I had a realisation…
While I have not yet held a baby of my own in my arms, I have built an incredible family through surrogacy. I am surrounded by love and support. The team at Proud Fertility is my chosen family. The friends I have made through Proud Fertility, and the connections that I have nourished have fulfilled a family dream I didn’t even think to dream of. The people I have met through my surrogacy journey are the best kinds of people. Loving people, giving people, altruistic people, the most loyal family that one could ask for. People who have so much love to give they will fight and persevere to pass that love along.
Each and every day I am completely blown away and inspired by the spirit of the people who willingly give the gift of life to others. Surrogate Mothers who open their hearts to those who long to have a child, receiving only gratitude in return. Who knew there was so much good in the world?
I have a profound admiration for each Intended Parent I work with. I have the privilege of meeting single Intended Fathers, single Intended Mothers, couples of all ages and backgrounds, from all over the world. Their bravery and commitment touches me and is the reason why I do what I do. I long to help others because I too have been consumed by the desire to become a parent.
Although I do not yet have a child of my own, I have fulfilled my own family dreams by helping others fulfill theirs.